You do not hate them, you just hate yourself

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You buy the last chocolate ice cream cone with delicious toppings (yummy!) from the nearby ice cream store.

You do not immediately start eating but wonder how these beautiful things are made. You visualize yourself cherishing the ice cream in multiple ways.

As the sun’s heat rises, the cone melts. A drop of ice cream melts and falls on to the other hand.

You slowly close your eyes, lick that drop of ice cream in your mouth and you feel like dancing over cloud nine.

When you open your eyes, you see someone running at great speed looking backward. You try to get out of their way but oops; you crash.

The ice cream goes toppling down and hits the road (Uh-oh!)

You just stare at the ice cream spilled all over the road and furiously you look up to find out who bumped into you.

It’s your neighbor Siva (Yeah sorry about it!).

He just apologizes you with sign language, tells that he is in a hurry and runs away (Phew!)

You feel sad and frustrated.

You continue to walk along the street, being sad, losing your patience and finally you begin gushing like an active volcano.

You curse and hate him for the guy he is, such a narcissistic, egoistic dumbass.

You feel like punching his face until his teeth fall off (Aw! My poor face)

As you walk along the road, you imagine being in a battle with Siva where you punch, kick, rip him into half… In a nutshell, you wish to beat the shit out of him.

Won’t you do this?

I would (if I were the guy with the ice cream)

Now the most important question?

Who do you hate?

“That dumbass, Siva. I gonna kill that filthy…” (Whoa whoa! Stop right there)

Let me tell you something.

Do you think you hate him?

No, you hate yourself.


Don’t understand??

What happens in your brain when you do this?

When you hate someone regardless of them harming you, You simulate (what I like to call them) “twisted imaginative experiences”.

You live in a new environment where you and the person you hate the most are the only guys over there. You love fantasizing how you love to thrash him like how the Hulk thrashed the Loki.

You just love harassing him.

You hate the guy developed in the “twisted imaginative experience” and not the actual person.

How does this affect you?

First, this twisted imaginative experience creates undesirable hatred to the extremity which causes you to act like the black guy from angry birds.

This undesirable hatred looks out for a way/a slit to vent out that immense anger you have been developing inside yourself. You might choose someone to downpour your rage who doesn’t have a damn idea why you are thrashing them.

Second, You are making tons of decisions which drain your energy.

And finally, the sick pleasure that you are getting is a never-ending spiral that takes you down further and further (like the samurai jack below)

Decluttering your mind

Does that mean you are a bad person?

No, obviously not.

We are merely unaware of these thoughts and it’s time to take charge of them back.

These thoughts are just like quicksand the more you try to get them out of your head, the harder it becomes.

What can I do if these thoughts hit me?

Stop them in their tracks by just accepting those thoughts and let them go (I know it sounds so cliche, but it works!) You already have a lot to do in your life, but this shouldn’t be among them.

Realize that no one is perfect, and it is time to move on.

Place yourself in the other person’s shoes and think why they could have done this.

Maybe that guy who bumped onto you was rushing to a hospital.

Maybe he could have been running late for his interview.

Maybe… (You get the point)

Just forgive him and smile back and say it’s ok. After all it’s just an ice cream.

Who knows, maybe he would buy you that ice cream on the way back for you.

You could enjoy the ice cream and relish those memories you both had, all the way till the end of your life.

Adios! I gotta go. Hey ice cream man. Wait, I need to buy something…

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